I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
