did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
