hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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