I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
