we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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