I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
