Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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