i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
