Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
high people should be assigned attendants
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
