It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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