my being single is dangerous.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
