she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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