And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
