Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
People in love make me want to vomit
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
