I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
