We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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