We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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