May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
