I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
