Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
