I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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