This girl is more easily done than said...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
