Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
