Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
