I cannot find my penis.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
