the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
