Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
