I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
