I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
