Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
