We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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