I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hippo gnu deer
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The uberlube is also flammable
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
