I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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