you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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