You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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