I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
