Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
