i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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