I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
