but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
