Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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