he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
