He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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