I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
