Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
