You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
