Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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