i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
