It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
