You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
